Do you ever feel like different parts of yourself are in conflict? Maybe one part of you is eager to move forward with a new idea, while another part self-sabotages with perfectionism, criticism, or fear. These inner struggles are common and may indicate that different aspects, or ‘parts’ of you are at odds. This usually leads us to feeling very stuck or unclear how to move forward or make decisions. I know this feeling well, both from working with my coaching and therapy clients and from my own personal experience of balancing (which feels more like juggling at times) my creativity and perfectionism. This is where IFS Parts Work—an approach that helps bring these internal parts into harmony—can offer valuable support.
As a psychosomatic therapist and coach, I find myself working with perfectionism time and time again—not only with my clients but also within myself. I have quite the inner perfectionist—a bit of a drill sergeant. It used to push me relentlessly, always telling me that nothing was ever quite perfect enough. But over time, I’ve learned to acknowledge this part without letting it take over. Using IFS Parts Work for inner conflict has played a big role in overcoming my perfectionism. I’ve been able to strengthen my Self part—the wise, compassionate core—and find more balance.
I see this same struggle in many of my clients, both in therapy and career coaching sessions. In my state-funded career coaching (AVGS) sessions for job seekers, founders, and freelancers in Germany, as well as in my psychosomatic therapy sessions, perfectionism shows up in a few distinct but equally challenging ways:
1. Paralysis or procrastination: Perfectionism can completely stop people from moving forward, driven by the fear of not being good enough, not being perfect, or failing.
2. Overworking and burnout: It can push individuals to constantly work, never allowing them to take breaks, rest, or rejuvenate, leading to eventual burnout.
In many cases, our perfectionist part isn’t acting alone. There are often other internal parts in conflict with the perfectionist. For example, if you’re an artist or a self-employed creative, you might have a part that thrives on play, curiosity, and exploration—qualities that are essential for your creative process. This creative part requires space, time, and freedom to experiment without pressure. However, you might also have a perfectionist part that restricts those same resources—time, space, and mental freedom—by imposing rigid standards and demanding more productivity and quality. This inner conflict between the creative part’s need for freedom and the perfectionist’s push for flawless outcomes can leave you feeling stuck or stifled. It might even give you the impression that you’re procrastinating, but this often stems from the perfectionist’s judgment of the creative part. The perfectionist may view the creative part’s freedom as risky, which can lead to self-sabotage or hesitation.
What’s important to remember here is that our inner parts have significant relationships with one another and can be triggered or activated by each other, which can lead to feelings of being stuck or stagnant.
In reality, the creative part doesn’t necessarily want to procrastinate—it’s simply tired of being ignored or not taken seriously. This is a significant component of the work I do with clients: Parts just want to be taken seriously. Through IFS Parts Work, we create a space where these parts can finally be heard and acknowledged. This process is often a new and transformative experience for these parts, leading to profound healing and balance.
If you notice the struggle between perfectionism and other parts in your own life, you’re not alone.
How Can IFS Parts Work Help You Overcome Perfectionism?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) and somatic therapy offer powerful tools for resolving internal conflicts. Through this approach, you’ll learn to understand and work with the different parts of yourself, creating more harmony in your inner world. Instead of fighting against your internal parts, IFS therapy invites you to listen to them with compassion and curiosity. By doing so, you can resolve internal conflicts, ease perfectionism, quiet the inner critic, and finally move forward.
If any of these signs resonate with you, exploring IFS Parts Work can be a transformative step toward healing. Contact me to learn how IFS therapy can help you overcome these challenges and live more freely.
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